Monday, May 7, 2012

Hi Everyone!!!

Been a hectic time but I do read all your comments and post each and every one, good or bad.  I am taking time to thank every one for your comments.  I am so surprised at the number of people who read my blog.

My husband still has not had his parole hearing, his last one was in 2010.  Since then, he has had 5 polygraphs and passed every one!  His PO is still a major dick but hasn't been hassling him as much lately.  When he does do his surprise visits, he won't even come in anymore....Guess he doesn't want to talk to me....LOL!  

I can't remember if I told you all that my husband hurt his back at his job and then the company closed down that location.  At least his worker's comp and his lawyer is better than mine ever was.  He is now in voc-rehab.  This is where they pay you to look for a job and give you a counselor to help you with the process.  He meets with his counselor once a week and fills out job search form.  Has had plenty of interviews.....but nothing concrete yet.  

I am only working 2- 5 hour days a week.  My back is still giving me issues but learning to live with it.

We planted a garden this year.  Its been fun for us....we both enjoy going out and working in the garden.

Anyway, things have been pretty good here.  I was afraid when my husband had to start registering, that we were going to get a lot of grief.  You know the horror stories you read; but Thank God, we have been left alone.  The sheriff department comes out for a compliance visit every now and then.  Under SORNA, he now has to renew his registration every 4 months but there is no grief at the Sheriff's Dept.  They treat us like human beings and even have conversations with my husband.  They appreciate that he doesn't give them any grief, does what he needs to the  
deputy in charge of the registration knows about my husband's wrongful conviction.  As far as the conviction, my husband has given up that fight for now.  I mean, what can we do?  All the evidence in his case was packed/stored "incorrectly" "by accident" and is now worthless.  (Yea! I believe that one).  In other words, all the evidence that could be used for DNA was "accidentally" destroyed. Speaking of his conviction, he was supposed to serve 30 years, got out at 20.  Its been 10 years since he has been he is trying to get "street credit" for the 10 years he has been on supervised parole.I figure that is why he hasn't been given a new parole hearing since they "officially" have no reason to keep him on supervised parole.  Oh...I forgot to tell you....he did write to President Obama....guess what the wonderful...cough, gag...president told him?  "If he were to plead guilty, then he would consider giving him amnesty."  Give me a BREAK!  Why would he plead guilty for something he didn't do?  If he turned down 3 plea bargains 30 years ago....why would he do it now?  I guess Obama will only give amnesty to illegal immigrants who are his his aunt. 

I will try real hard to be better at writing something on a monthly basis if I can't do it any sooner.  Nothing new on the legal front as far as I know.  No new laws trying to sneak in through the cracks....

Just November, we need to vote.  Especially us women.  Have you listen to most of these candidates?  They are trying to take us back to cave man days... telling us what we can or can not do with our bodies.  So before November, take the time  to get familiar to those candidates.  We just can not let those candidates into office who want to tell us what to do with our bodies, take our decisions out of our control...We have fought hard for that right!  Let's not loose it this election. 

Til next time!  Keep those comments coming.  And for all you haters out there....I did post your comments...small minded and ignorant though they were.  I do not hide what the haters write. We all know they are out there.  We all have had to deal with that kind of ignorance.  By posting them, we can deal with them together.  So if you have something to say ...please feel free to write will get posted for all to read.  (I can't guarantee my reply will be nice...LOL) but I will post it, un-moderated, un-edited...just as you wrote it.  For all of you who need or want to join our support blog:  I invite you to write in.  Share your story with us.  If you have had a run in with a hater...share that too.  Your experience will help others.

Thanks again.  


Anonymous said...

My fiance is going to prison for failure to register even though he was never informed about secondary residence.. I have a four year old son when he would get out on parole would he be allowed to live with me if we were plz!

Dee said...

That depends....if your fiance was convicted of being a child sex offender...then probably not. But this all depends on the laws of your state and his parole officer. Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

hello ,just wanted to tell all those whom are on that ankle gps system ,i feel for all those whom have to wear them ankle bracelets .
my husband is one whom has to wear one also , after 2 yrs probation , they decided to one day put it on him . the probation told him to get used to it , it may never come off !!my hub is a law abiding citizen , pays all fees , go to pro bation visit each month ,they come do house visits suprises ,counceling every week , we pay 350$month just on all this stuff he has to pay , doesnt do nothing wrong , is on 17 yrs probation and life on registry . as a family there is no more family activities we can do but rent movies , stay home , go to get groceries ,or restraunts . thats it

cant go no parks , pool , do any fun activities , watch our son do sports . etc , it shouldnt be just me doing family things with son , the govt should allow him to be able to be part the family ,
im weary and tired but we still press on ,
we are all sufferring . and our son will not have a normal life .
it breaks my heart there are so many people who have made mistake in past or wrongly convicted , deceived to taking pleas etc , and then continued rest life to be punished , the registry needs to be shut down gps needs to be gone ,
i pray one day God will intervene and take off my husband bracelet . we can go where we want as a family and live normal , ,GOD doesnt condemn people of their past when theyve repented and live for him , he said the past is the past it is forgiven , and never to be remebered again.i know what your saying about getting the hate , hes been harased at work . phone calls to the bosses , people . and family has shunned me . but thats ok . id rather have JESUS then this old world anyways . and i got a beautiful place promised for me and those whom are saved and living for GOD .so freedom will ring one day and they wont be able to do nothing . them ankle bracelets will be off and we will be raptured to GOD kingdom, the chains of ths life the pains and worries one day will never be . ty JESUS. i love my husband AND IT HURTS THAT he is for the rest his life gotta go thru all this stuff along with us the familiy . there are probably 2,000,000 families affected by all this and my heart hurts for all them . ,if the person is sorry for what they done , abided by law , pays the fees , does right .
then they shouldnt have to branded for life with no life , give us back our freedoms i tell the govt in petitions , any one out there
whose going thru all this stuff like us needs to voice the govts out not stand still and hope . ,pray for the LORD to intervene .but the way the economy is going maybe it wil be answered prayer , if govt goes bank rupt they wont be able to afford sex registry or gps ,and freedom will reign . while on earth. anyone going thru this please contnue to talk to me we all need someone whose going thru same stuff to talk to and give encouragement to in these last days. GOD bless , signed emc

Philip Smith said...

Excellent blog very nice and unique information related to sex. Thanks for sharing this information.

Pete Carey said... just happy to see wives stick with or even date someone labeled. its a tough uphill battle to educate people that im safe to date. ;-)

Anonymous said...

as the law is written now, as of 1 Oct 2010, your husband WOULD be required to register as a sex offender due to him being under supervision of a parole/probation officer. i have not seen anything on your blog citing the change in the law as of 1 Oct 2010. i see where you are saying that he's filed appeals after appeals and i've looked online and read those appeals..which are all moot at thie point in time... but if he had not been required (in your mind legally or illegally by the nasty PO) he certainly WOULD be required to register as of 1 Oct 2010 simply because of the supervised parole.

Tara said...

I briefly dated a sex offender - he was 18 at a party and a 17 year old gave him a bj -- they dated a little bit and then broke up. The girl's mom then pressed charges in revenge. Ruined this guy's life...had to do a year in jail and parole and community service, get registered...the whole nine yards. Absolutely ridiculous that this is allowed in a country that prides itself on its justice system.

Anonymous said...

Hi I am a non-offending parent, my husband did commit the crime with his daughter one night after a night with his friend drinking and using meth. 2 years later he confessed and turned himself in, plead guilty and served no time. Problem? He was banned from seeing his children for 4 years. We did reunify in the court system which was a miracle in itself, and after 12 therapist sessions weekly and countless interrogations he is home. He is a 290 and our life is forever traumatized. I know who rents on our block, and have to introduce myself with the information that my husband (your neighbor) is a 290 registrant and tell them our story. I have actually formed a Look Book with court papers, recommendations and information so I can present our intimate life to strangers. My children make a friend and I am at the house of the parents with my look book, my oldest daughter started dating and she had to let him everything before she could allow things to get serious (they are now engaged). It has been 11 years since disclosure and 13 years since the molest, and we still have to treat it like it happened yesterday. Even when hubby is at work my children are not allowed to bring friends over for the safety of my husband. We don’t hold birthday parties for our children with guests and my kids will never get to hold a sleepover, although they attend them elsewhere. We were kicked out of a play group even though my husband never attended because someone saw the red dot on my address. CPS was called by a neighbor because she saw that my husband was on the registry and saw kids in his front yard (they were HIS kids) The police showed up and inspected the house and our children were interviewed by CPS and officers. SO I inform everyone in a certain radius now so their SHOCK factor will not further traumatize my children. I have become a STRONG advocate for non-offending parents through all this. Starting an organization that will come along side of the non-offending parent at time of disclosure and help put the pieces back together. I still face many people who say I am just another offender who gives birth to hand them over to my pedophile husband. I wish there was a way to help the public understand that it is not their lifetime but innocent children's lifetimes that are affected. They have the right to have a healthy daddy back in their lives and not live under a red dot.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog tonite. Thanks first of all.
Let me say a couple of things. I am a victim of sexual abuse by my ex-stepfather. It went on for about a year until my mother found out. The Grand Jury decided there wasn't enough evidence to prove he ever touch me or my sister even though he got her pregnant when she was only 13!!! Can you believe that? He is sitting at his home, never did time & does not have to register so NOONE knows of his crime. I dealt with the nightmares growing up & the painful memories. I try not to think about everything he did to me but as any victim of any crime, it's tough! I've never really thought about the whole sex offender registry before even though I worked 3 yrs at a police department. Yes I have looked at them, I read their charge & age of victim & went on about my business. I never drove by their house looking to see them or anything.

Now I find myself really concerned. I am now married to someone that will be a RSO when he is released. I'm scared he won't be able to live with me because I have a baby that is only 1yr now. My husband has 2 yrs before he is eligible for parole. My husband was accused of sexually assaulting a 15yo. The 15 yo was the daughter of a woman he had just ended a relationship with & she was mad. They had been together for 3 yrs. Crazy me for thinking that IF he really wanted to touch that 15yo, why wait 3 yrs & until he is ready to leave her mom. This woman & her daughter have been allowed to ruin my husband's life. That's how I see it. He took a plea bargain ONLY because his court appointed attorney convinced him that IF he took it to trial & was not able to convince ALL the jurors he was innocent, he would be facing a minimum of 25 yrs because of felony enhancement.
Even though I am a victim of a sex crime, I do pray that one day they will see the registry isn't working & will abolish it all together.
BTW, I'm in Texas & if anyone knows whether or not my husband will be able to live in my home when he gets out...please let me know. No, the baby is not his biological child. My son (1yr) knows him as dada & my son (20yr) calls him dad. We all love him very much!!

Praying for all the innocent people doing time-behind bars or behind the registry-for this crime There are so many!!!
To all the guilty people, may God have mercy on your soul when your judgement day comes!

Anonymous said...

I am currently a senior in highschool, and though i may be young, I have wisdom beyond my years, that was God-given to me. When i was younger, i too was abused. My mother's ex-boyfriend did bad things. Though i went through hard times, i battled through and am now being accepted into college next fall.

I go to church every sunday and strongly believe in forgiveness and God's great love. So when i started dating my boyfriend a year and a half ago we created the best, most trusting relationship that two people could ever have. We have committed to each other in a way that other people my age are not capable of doing. We vowed to not have sex until marriage, and plan to stay true to that. When i found out that he was being convicted of incest with his 15 year old sister, my heart broke and my stomach flip flopped.

I listened to him and allowed him to explain to me exactly what was happening. He said that he was being charged with two class C felonies. He told me how long ago the incident occurred and how much he had changed and regretted it. It was never during our relationship.. it was years b4 we started dating. A part of me could not even believe it because he is such a good guy who had never even asked me to have sex with him. God says to forgive; fully forgive and that is exactly what i have decided to do... he has been going through his court stuff this past year and it has been so hard on everyone. last week he was arrested, and will sit ten months of jail time. i am currently under the age of 17 and can have to contact whatsoever with him. This breaks my heart... I plan on marrying him. Everyone thinks i am crazy to throw my life away like that, but love isn't about yourself, if you truely love someone, love is about that person; how you can make their life better, and doing anything you can to be with that person. I have forgiven him and am quite close to his family. My parents are pretty much shunning me and idk how to deal with that but oh well, they must not love me very much if this is all it takes to kick me to the curb...

My school guidance counselor told me that i am not seeing the big picture, but i am, ik how hard it will be, but i will sacrifice what i need to in order to be with the one i love. She thinks that i am not normal, she thinks i need to think about what he has done and how mentally ill he is. Being a rso IS NOT AN ILLNESS! and he is not that person at all. he is loving and caring and generous and kind and compassionate. he takes care of me and everyone els around him b4 thinking of himself. he is my soulmate, and i will stop at nothing to defend him and every right he has... i have choosen to stand by him in this time of need. Thank you to the creator of this website, reading these stories and comments have greatly helpped me and made me feel less "weird" or "crazy" for loving someone that is a rso

any advice would be great though!