Monday, January 4, 2010

Sex Offender Laws: helping or contributing?

I am sure most of you have read or heard of the 11 year old girl in Salisbury who was abducted by a child sex offender who had been dating her aunt. At this time, he is only charged with kidnapping, but little Sarah was murdered and her body dumped in the woods. During the search for Sarah, which started Wed. 12/23, 2 state police stopped by my house and 230 a.m. Thursday morning. They were questioning all sex offenders in the area. Sarah was an 11 year old. Why in the world would the state police spend precious minutes to question someone who was not a CHILD sex offender, someone whose conviction was over 30 years old, someone who has never re-offended nor even violated any aspect of his parole? They only had the Wicomico County Sex Registry in their hand. Unfortunately, the Wicomico County registry does not seperate the child sex offenders from those who are not. Since Sarah's abduction and murder, many citizens are demanding another sex offender law be put in place "Sarah's Law". Why in the world would we want another sex offender law when there are too many now? First, the sex offender registry needs to be cleaned up. They need to take off all the Romeos, all those that peed in public, or "streaked". They also need to remove those whose convictions are greater than 15 years old providing that offender has not re-offender nor has not violated conditions of his parole. With 174 sex offenders on the Wicomico County Sex offender registry, there are not enough law enforcement nor enough money in the budget to properly identify nor monitor those who are at a high risk of re-offending. If they can not properly manage the registry...how can we expect them to enforce all those sex offender laws. Add to the responsibility of monitoring 174 sex offenders, add to that the increased crime, increased gang actvity: its way too much for law enforcement. Although Wicomico County does not have residency laws. they do not work either. When you take everything away from a man or woman, they will do whatever they can to survive. It is human nature.

If I didn't think they were serious, it would be absolutely hilarious at some of the solutions that the citizens of Wicomico County have stated in comments: 1> execute all sex offenders ( we all know that there are innocent men and women on the sex offender registry just waiting for the day their appeals are heard...so what happens if an innocent were to be executed...just going to say to the family.."OOOps, sorry."? 2> Castrate all sex offenders (again, what if they are innocent?) 3> Ship all sex offenders to a remote island like they use to do to lepers 4> Keep them in jail for longer sentences (prisons are over flowing now..do we let out a murderer, a serial killer to keep a sex offender?) 5> put them in prison with all the other prisoners, have the guards turn their heads, and allow the other prisoners have their way with the sex offenders. These so called solutions sound sick, don't they? Well, the little hick newspaper printed them along with the interview with a resident of Wicomico County who said that all sex offenders names and photos should be published in the newspaper for those without computers. If you can remember, I wrote a comment earlier that this same hick newspaper did just that!

I don't know about the rest of you but I am sick and tired of everyone lumping all the sex offenders together and all of us, the offender and their family, are treated like lepers. I keep asking but no one can give me an answer: why all the hype about sex offenders when no one gives a second thought to the drunk drivers who kill children, when drug dealers get little kids hooked on crack, when families keep guns in their homes and a child is accidentally killed when playing with one?

I was hoping 2010 was going to be a better year. It has started like all the rest: Politicians can't wait to get back in session so they can present yet another feel good law, a law guaranteed to get them re-elected, Sarah's Law. Its time for citizens to get smart and realize what these politicians are doing and realize that the more laws but on the books, the more ineffective they are because law enforcement do not have the man power or the budget to ensure all laws are being followed.

Happy Freaking New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just have to say thank you, for this site, I have never felt so alone if my life, Thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Dee said...

You are welcome...it has helped me through some pretty rough times..as you can see..I still come back every now and then to get some things off my chest so to speak.

Anonymous said...

this is really a nice website and i really appreciate it. thank you!

Anonymous said...

I have to thank you as well. I feel like I have so much bottled up inside me that I haven't been able to share with anyone. It helps to know that there are other people out there who know how I'm feeling and where I'm coming from. The injustice in this world is just sickening.

Anonymous said...

My name is Becky.....i was wondering one day if i could find somebody in my situation...Though my story is different than yours. I have been with my fiance since 2002. He is also a registered sex offender. He did however commit the act of cunnilingus on a child. That night he turned himself in, did his time, probation and therapy. I have seen his arrest and court papers. Anyway, he admits what he did was wrong.....he suffers everyday mentally with this mental disease, and i do feel this is a mental disease, or disorder. This man wishes he would have never did what he has done......from time to time he cries, and wonders and hopes his victim is living a normal life, and starts downgrading himself.....

I myself live with temptation everyday.....i am a recovering crack addict who was so bad i sold my body and soul to get my drug.....i am ten years clean and still have thoughts and feelings i shouldn't have....but i manage my life, and know my boundaries. This goes for my fiance and his temptation.....We know each others weaknesses.....we help one another make it through rough moments and thoughts.....

Anyway, i would love to tell you more, i even thought of writing my story one day......what i will tell you is that I don't like the act that is committed from men or woman, who may or may not become "Sex Offenders". I also know that there are those sex offenders that will never change or stop, and there are those that did there time for the crime, went through therapy and have remorse and has not reoffended.......those are the ones that i feel deserve a second chance in life, like my fiance. He always says to me in a moment of anger.......society is his worst enemy now.

What i manage to accept and deal with in this relationship is what revolves around his sickness.....which is High Anxiety, bad thoughts.....depression.....anger, and at times feeling like a victim himself, because as a child he was molested by his brother and babysitter which was a woman. We hardly have no sex life......and that's because his mental disease.....and for the fact from my past when i did drugs, i was raped many times.....so it is hard for both of us to actually perform.

We do love one another and yeah, i sometimes say to myself " I could find someone better", but could i really? I have been in very bad relationships, and if you have seen the movie "The burning bed", with Farah Fosset, that's what i'm talking about. My fiance doesn't drink, do drugs, and never lays a hand on me. He is a very emotional man.....i love him for that. Yeah, he has issues, but don't we all to some extent? We are like best friends....he tells me everything that bothers him. I know all his trigger points....

He is stronger than he thinks he is.....I love him so much that there are times when i go to a public pool, i even ask if he wants to go, knowing he would have a brain attack if he does, and he Tells me i am stupid for asking him that, and does not go......I know he will have problems, but i want him to try and live a normal life......no matter how hard it is....i would be with him, so nothing would happen, accept his mind going absolutely crazy with sick thoughts.....then i say to myself........a person who is still wanting to offend would have taken that opportunity and jumped with it! Not him. Grocery stores are problems for him at times.....his anxiety is all about......"People will notice me", or he may see something that bothers him, and i can tell, and he either tells me.....Becky we gotta get out of here, or I ask him, because i can tell, and we get out of there.....It happens sometimes, not all the time....but i respect the fact that he tells me when he's having a bad day on this issue. It helps him free his demons...
I thought about one day telling my story......but i believe this time in society is too soon......

Anonymous said...

R u all crazy???? Yes I understand some are minor like angry dad syndrome. Exposing yourself peeing in.public That is not minor I Have experienced that and truly scared the crap out Oh me...
As far as rights they should have none! I am z survivor of child abuse I am the one who has been scared all my life ..he did Not get to.pay vfor his actions dud to stupid statue of limitations ..so believe me there are more than u know of...they will never change..
Becky how could u be in.love that had hurt traumatized a child DENIAL..hardcore sex offenders should Just be eliminated ...he has effected my whole life I'm 41 ...why should they be able to put behind them when the victim will never be able to....

Dee said...

We have heard this question many times.
We are not crazy. I am sorry for what happened to you. Every other ex con is forgiven once they have served their time. Why not RSOs? Yes, the guy who did that to you has changed your life...was he related to you? But drug dealers and murderers change lives also..They are forgiven.

Sassie1 said...

There's a fear out there that we all have had, those of us who were sexually abused, that we will be victims again. Mine was over 30 years ago, and I blocked it out. It wasn't till about 5 yrs ago that I was able to acknowledge it. Now, I'm on the other side, My husband of 22 yrs is in Prison awaiting his arraignment and sentencing - he admitted to the molestation of a young girl. I'm very afraid he will be in for 20 yrs, due to it occurred 8 times. We are both Christians, and this just occurred last year. I am both horrified and grieved. He told me he's fought these feelings for most of his life, and couldn't go on the way he was. As the victim of Sexual assault, I know the issues they go through, I know the girl, she is my grand daughter. She seems to be doing well, she's in therapy and does ask about her grandfather. My family wants me to divorce him, but I want to give him another chance. Now another girl has come forward saying that my husband touched her in private places over 10 yrs ago. My husband and I are afraid they'll try to put more time on him due to this.
Can anyone help me here? I feel very alone right now, my church is behind us, but none of us know what to expect with all of this. We live in PA.