Monday, November 24, 2008

My Daughter: Beaten and Choked....A look at Domestic Abuse

I know I haven't been writing lately. Had another form of advocating to do. My daughter's boyfriend of 6 years came home one night and began punching her and put her in a wrestling move which traumatized her shoulder and choked her. Then, he wouldn't let her go to get medical help nor would he even allow her to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. She was sound asleep and was rudely awakened by his beating her. Granted, this is not the first time he has hit her...but this time...Her eyes have been opened. He let her go to work the next morning by holding her dog hostage. He knew he had to let her go to work because he knew that when I couldn't get up with her...I'd be sending the Calvary over there. I took her to the ER and the Sheriff Deputy questioned her and took pictures. Then they went and arrested him. Course, several hours later his mommy bailed him out. Any way...he has a long history of abuse. His last girlfriend pressed charges against him.....he was charged with attempted murder, assault first degree, kidnapping, false imprisonment. They offered him a plea bargain, he plead guilty to 2nd degree assault, spent 18 months in prison and was allowed work release. Not only did he do the same thing to her as with my daughter, but he tortured her for hours by making her stand while he threw "D" batteries at her feet...severely bruising them. He locked her in a room when he went to work and she had to climb out the window. Course, the story he told my daughter was that during an argument, his ex had knifed the inside of his mustang and he slapped her a couple of times. Now my daughter and his first ex are good friends and helping each other. Seems that the whole time he was with my daughter, he was still stalking and harassing his ex. Currently, he is being charged with aggravated assault. (5-10). But they are trying after a tougher charge due to his size compared to hers...he is 5 foot 11...285 pounds. She is 5 foot 4 and 140 pounds!!! So needless to say, I've been writing and calling who ever I can. He's free at the present time, while these women are constantly looking over their shoulders and my daughter can't sleep at night since every sound she hears she gets up to look out the window. And his court date is Jan. 2009.

So my question? These domestic abusers of women never stop. They continue over and over again until they finally kill someone. So why do they not have a registry for those who beat on women? Do they think that sexual abuse is the only crime against women? And look at the nearly nothing sentence he lifetime of probation, no to do it again and again. And guess what would have happened if one of these women were to fight back and accidentally kill him? That's in prison. Yet he got 18 months for attempted murder, kidnapping, and torture (though he wasn't charged with that).

Justice? I don't think so. Justice would be locking him up, throwing away the key...and him getting punked by all those inmates who utterly despise a woman beater. I hope he gets a dish of his own medicine night after night for the next 15-20 years!!!!

That's my baby he beat and could have easily snapped her neck. Her shoulder was messed up, she had several lumps on her head where he punched her, her lip was busted where he back handed her several times when she tried to talk to him, bruises all over her neck from him choking her, pettichaie around her eyes from choking, swollen eye where he hit her on her left temple. Monster is the only word to describe him.

So why are sex offenders, remember the statistics, they rarely re-offend, the object of the Witch Hunts? It's time we change the target to the one group who never stop....the man who physically beats the woman. Normally, sex has nothing to do with's the fear that they get off on.

Yes...I'm rambling. I'm still wired up about what happened. And yes, I'm attempting to make this case as public as I can so there will be no plea bargains this time!!!!


Anonymous said...

Thinking of you this thanksgiving. Hope all is well with your daughter. I have been following your blogs about your husband. I am so glad you have found each other, I worry that you devote too much time to fighting the system instead of enjoying each other. Cherish the moments.

Dee said...

Please don't be offended....but we do devote a lot of time to one another and to our family. But our "fighting" is not against the system but for justice. My husband's freedom was stolen from him by corrupt prosecutors, FBI agents and today he is still suffering from the corruption. I feel useful just by being able to do research for him. You see, he does all the legal stuff himself. It takes a lot of time and energy to get what he litigates in legal form or else the court won't accept it. He was actually given a left handed compliment one day. He had asked for a court appointed lawyer but the judge decided he does such a great job with his legal breifs that he doesn't need one at this time...although he (the judge) did reserve the right to change his mind at a later date. My husband's head was swelled for days!!!So while we have not lost what is impotant to us, we do know that the fight is not over. We have a routine, and we have legal time and cuddle (or us) time. We won a small victory last week and every small victory adds up and is worth the time and trouble. But Thank you for your concern.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dee, I'm from DE & a mother of a plea bargained sex offender. Not guilty either but this system is set up for a young man to either take the plea or be falsely convicted & do 10, 20 or more yrs. These guys need to stop taking pleas & taking them to court (especially he said/she said cases). Although it seems like a left handed compliment, I can't imagine that your husband NOT having a lawyer is good. Almost like they want him to screw up. Forgive me but I do NOT trust the justice system.

I hope all goes well for you & your family. What type of small victory did you have? Any small victory makes me feel like all hope is not lost.

Keep fighting

Dee said...

My husband won the right to introduce the falsified medical records at his parole term hearing!!! They were relying on that to keep him on supervised parole.

My husband leaves the huge stuff for the lawyers...but can you imagine how much it would cost if we had to hire a lawyer to put in every appeal, every motion, and other things he puts in but I can't remember the legal jargon...habeous corpus..or something like that. Since he's working on California convition,and the complaint against a judge..he does that himself..Challenging his sex registration was given to the lawyers....his medical files which at a later date will be dealt with will be given to the lawyers...he's working on a torque claim himself.(sorry, I know wht it means..but the how's and whys..I don't) Anyway...stay husband didn't take a plea...he spent 20 years in prison...but he never gets angry...his theory..."Why fight when you can litigate?" That drives his sex offender counselor up the wall....he's supposed to have a behavioral problem...

matthew said...

CONGRATS DEE!! Your article popped upo on my goofle alerts!!

Very good!!! Matthew

C.U.T.R. "Clean Up the Registry" Ohio said...

I've witnessed child abuse by parents and the children became 'criminals'.
I've come to believe that 'it's okay to beat a child or someone, but it's not okay to have underage sex.'
Keep your faith and your strength. We are the chosen ones!