New Rental Ordinance Proposed For Sex Offenders

They can't get a residency law passed for sex offenders in Delaware so now one town is proposing an ordinance that prevents landlords from renting to a sex offender if the house/apartment is within so many feet of a school, daycare etc.! In addition, they have to alert everyone within 500 feet of the rental, that a sex offender is living there. In Laurel, DE the town is trying to make this a law. Talk about ridiculous!! When will it stop? All this law will accomplish is landlords will not rent to any sex offenders because they do not want the hassle of alerting everyone within 500 feet of the rental. Nor do they want to deal with the huge number of complaints they would get from these residents once they are told that a sex offender lives within 500 feet of their home. We all know what happens then...many more sex offenders will become homeless. These "feel good" laws that these stupid politicians are trying to get passed is just them trying to make themselves popular and to gain votes. This is never going to end until every sex offender and their families and friends decide to come forward with a petition or publicly express their concerns. Right now because of the fear of vigilantism, retaliation from parole officers, law enforcement and the like, many stay quiet and just take what ever is handed to them. Our numbers are strong and then add in wives, girlfriends, mothers, other family members and friends, we would be a force to reckon with. Together, we could make changes.

America prides itself on its education, its Constitution, and its freedom. Yet the very people who are voted in to uphold the American way are working tediously to deny these things to a small group of people. When you consider other criminals, such as drug dealers, who do not become a scum of the earth, nor are they denied all rights, but yet, they have one of the highest recidivism rates. They, too, cause long lasting harm to the children. Giving away candy laced with drugs just to get the children addicted, then forcing them to buy it after they are addicted. So, to get this wonderful candy, the children turn to stealing. Many will grow up still addicted, doing anything for their next high. Talk about education. No one in legislature is interested in educating the public on the facts. They would rather use fear tactics, lie about the facts, and shine with proposing "feel good" laws that do nothing to protect but do everything to make matters worse.

To be quite honest, I'm ashamed of what America has become. Government goes out of its way to do everything in its power to encourage non-Americans to come live in America. Reduced mortgage rates, tax free purchases of homes and businesses. Haven't you ever wondered why so many foreigners are buying up all the Mom and Pop markets? Reduced to zero mortgage rates for 7 years. So after 7 years, they sell the business to an Aunt, Uncle, or cousin. They do this for non-Americans and then they think they can strip all rights away from sex offenders.

My husband's lawyer once told him, "You do not have the same rights that a John Doe off the street has." He was being nice. My husband, just like all other sex offenders, does not have any rights. He can never be the victim. If he were beaten on the street, just for being a sex offender, law enforcement officials would find some way to blame him for being beaten. When my husband went to register as a sex offender, I went with him. I was worried about vigilantism. So I asked the deputy about it. He told me that they were very tough on vigilantism and all I would have to do is call "911" and they would be there in a flash. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Did I really believe that anyone from the sheriff's dept or from the state police's dept would "come running" when a sex offender's address pops up on a "911" call? HELL!! NO!!!!! But I am concerned if we need to call "911" for a medical emergency. How slow would they respond? I'm so glad I am a nurse, even though I can't work because of my back pain, I still know enough to keep someone alive until help arrived, even if they did do a slow crawl.

I guess I am done venting. When I read that article on the computer on WBOC's website, I just had to write my thoughts. Every so often, things build up, to keep from exploding....I blog. Laugh if you will. But until you try it...you don't know what your missing. You can write for anyone to read, remain as anonymous as you want. It feels empowering when someone comments, even when it is negative, because someone actually reads what you write. I am really moved by many of the comments I get from those who are suffering just as we are. It helps to know that we are not the only ones though some days, it sure does feel like it.

The Maintenance Polygraph

On Aug. 13, 2009, my husband had his maintenance polygraph. He said that although it was not videoed, he believes it was taped, though he was not apprised of the fact. Thank God this man who gave my husband the test was not an Ass Hole like his previous one. He did not get bent out of shape when my husband refused to sign the documents stating that he released them from anything nor did he sign the document stating he was undergoing this polygraph willingly. This polygrapher did prepare my husband for the test as per protocol, unlike the first guy. The questions were: 1) Have you lied to anyone who trusts you? 2) Have you lied to anyone in the position of authority? 3) Have you engaged in any unwanted sex since your release? 4) Have you ever had any sexual activity that you would be embarrassed of it became known? 5) Have you lied to me when you stated that you would be honest with me when you answered the questions? 6)Have you done anything to violate the conditions of your parole? We are positive that his PO is going to be livid about the questions asked. Why? Because none of them were about the Walmart incident, or about any of the things his PO is trying to pin on him. (If you recall, his PO is trying to put my husband behind bars...he told me so when the PO first met me during his 45 minute rant, trying to get me to NOT marry my husband.) Although my husband was not happy with having to take the polygraph....he was happy with the way the polygrapher conducted himself and the test. (The polygrapher even gave my husband a cough drop when my husband had a coughing spell courtesy of his severe bout with bronchitis) Now, we are hoping that the polygrapher continues to be professional and not lie about the results of the exam. My husband and I are positive that his PO had quite a long talk with the polygrapher before we got there. (Yes, I did go with my husband as I always do to offer support and my love.) We are sure that during the PO's conversation with the polygrapher that he mentioned how manipulative my husband is(that's the PO's opinion. My husband is not manipulative...just fighting for his rights and for justice) and he wants my husband back in jail. We are also positive that if this polygrapher doesn't, that his PO will schedule him for another polygraph with a different polygrapher A.S.A.P. If that's the case, the P.O.'s supervisor is going to get a call from me. At present, my husband is preparing some kind of legal document that includes the polygraph. (He does so much legal work: appeals, habeases, etc. that it's hard for me to remember which is which. LOL.) I don't know if I have ever mentioned it, but my husband used his 20 years in prison to study federal law. He is quite capable of litigating his own cases.

Needless to say, I have not heard back from the PO's supervisor after I talked to him about the conduct of this PO towards me (the inappropriate remarks, verbally forcing me to leave the preparation of dinner to sit down with my husband and listen to his BS...the dinner ( shrimp) I had to throw away because it had sat out for 30-45 minutes, uncovered while the PO stood over it....yuk!!!). I really didn't expect any response. While researching the job descriptions of Parole Officers, I found (not surprising to me) that his PO does not do most of the things he is supposed to do. Such as supporting and aiding his parolees to finding resources and employment to help them improve their lives. All he does is harass my husband, lie about things and to do anything he can do to get my husband back in prison. I still wonder how he can monitor his other parolees since he is sooooooooooo obsessed with my husband.

Oh well............This is my life, Wife of a sex offender, and though I wish things could be different, I love my husband and will always be by my husband's side. So this is our life....and we are living it the best way we know how. His parole officer, the conditions of his parole, the having to be registered....none of that nor anything else will make me walk away from my husband and our life together.

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading my blog!!! I hope my blog helps other's out there in the same position. I know I have connected with alot of people through my blog. Like I've told them and this goes for anyone...Keep in touch and if you ever need to just vent...I'm here for you!!!!

The Injustice of it all

My husband's so called maintenance polygraph is scheduled for later this month. It will focus on crimes he may have or may not have committed while on parole. It was not court ordered, nor ordered by the parole commission, but was ordered by his obsessed P.O. My husband, who must live his life under a conviction for a crime he did not commit, has been the perfect parolee. He has never broken any laws, he is married and we have a happy marriage, he has been at the same residence for 5 years, and he is employed. But because he dared to argue that under Maryland law he was not required to register as a sex offender (his conviction was in 1979), his PO is out to throw him back in prison. Thus, the polygraph. One deep breath, one skipped heart beat or even one twitch and he is back in prison for failing his polygraph. It doesn't matter that polygraphs are not admissible in court.....the parole commission runs by their own laws. His last polygraph was rigged. My husband was asked a series of questions but when the results were released, the questions were out of order than the way they were asked during the polygraph. (We did ask that this polygraph be taped or videoed and were told that they would try. Which tells me that it won't be!) He did not return to prison, but was continued on supervised parole. (He was told prior to his first polygraph that if he did not answer any or all of the questions but pleaded the 5th, that his parole would be revoked and he would go back to prison!) This polygraph is supposed to be only 5 questions. His lawyer is unable to get any answers as to what those questions might be. The PO nor his supervisor state they have no idea. LIARS!!!!! I use to believe in justice, the government and the law. If there is justice, why was my husband convicted of a crime he didn't commit because FBI agents were allowed to get away with an illegal search and seizure and with holding of evidence? Why won't any court re-open his case when the evidence and facts(including crime scene photos and investgation notes) are presented to them during my husband's appeals? (To re-open the case would mean that if found innocent....every case these 3 FBI agents and this judge have been involved in for the last 30 years would come into question. So it is easier to allow one innocent man to suffer. This is injustice!) Why does the government allow the Parole Commission and the Parole Officers to follow their own laws? (Seems they make up new laws whenever it suits their cause) Why are there such draconian laws that focus on only one type of criminal? ( Sex offenders have the lowest percentage rate of recidivism. ) Why are all sex offenders grouped together under the label of pedophile? Talk about injustice!!!!!!

Once they get away with doing this polygraph, they can demand a new one every 6 months. Who or what will be next.? If it can happen to him....it will happen to every sex offender that is registered. What will they demand next and label it as part of his condition of his parole? It wouldn't surprise me at all if they try to tell him that its against the conditions of his parole to even be married!!!! After all, his PO doesn't like me. I dared to ignore his lecture when he tried to dissuade me from marrying my husband.

I use to be an optimist. No longer!!! It doesn't matter what a person does or doesn't do........or how well a person tries to follow the rules or how "good" a person is..............none of that matters. (I'm still trying to hold onto my FAITH and I still believe it will matter when you are no longer among the living) But while you are still among the living.........once an injustice, always an injustice. Its like he's the scapegoat. Someone got away with doing an injustice to him once...so now everyone is kicking him while he's down. He did have a great Parole Officer once. I think she was promoted so now he's stuck with the obsessed one...the PO with a major attitude problem.....the PO who thinks he is GOD himself. I don't know why his supervisor is standing behind him. Nothing was done about my complaints about his inappropriate behavior. Nor do I expect anything will ever be done!

I just know that unless we ( wives, mothers, daughters, friends of sex offenders and sex offenders themselves) all act as one, we all brave the public eye and stand up for the rights of sex offenders.....these injustices will continue. Politicians will continue to pass these draconian laws because it makes some "feel good". The parole commission, the parole officers, even those who up hold the law will continue to do injustice to our loved ones. And in doing so...... neither they nor us will ever be able to live our lives to the fullest! We will never be able to say that America is a land of the free.......we will never be free unless changes are made.

Thank you for reading my blog and allowing me to vent. Life is just so unfair but we need to act as one.......so that all may be able to live!

Maintenance Polygraph scheduled

If you've been reading my blog, you know that my husband's PO came up with this unknown monster called a "maintenance polygraph". Well, my husband's is scheduled in August. I can also tell you that my husband is not taking this sitting down. Like I've said many of times, my husband is self taught in federal law. He has gotten several compliments from judges and even other lawyers on the legal briefs etc., that he has submitted. So yes, he has sent in another legal paper. I swear, he is being kept busy with enough legal work for the next year and mostly its all because of his PO. I must say, compared to almost two years ago, I have learned a lot on Federal law and legal language. Ha! Jokingly, I'm sure, I was offered a job in the Federal defender's office if I ever went to law school and passed the bar! Wouldn't that be something. I would honestly consider it if I had the money to go back to school for 8+ years. Oh well, another item to list on my "fantasy wish list"!

Normally, I don't answer any questions that are posted on other websites but one caught my eye this morning. One woman wanted to know if anyone would start a relationship with a RSO. She was being advised to stay away by more than one person. So you know me, I had to put my 2 cents worth in. I have never ever regretted marrying my husband. Since you are reading this, hopefully you know my story. My husband and I will be married 2 years August 18th. I met him Oct. 2006 and on our second date he told me about his past. He was released from prison Jan. 2000 after spending 20years in Federal prison. As you know, his past did not matter to me. It was the man he is now that I was seeing and fell in love with. Along with the BS we have to put up with from his PO and other issues, it is amazing to see him adjusting to life outside of prison. There is nothing he takes for granted......like taking a walk outside just to see the wonders of nature and breathe in the air. For so long he had never experienced that feeling. And yes, I still cry sometimes when he tells me his stories of when he was in prison. I will repeat: I HAVE NEVER EVER REGRETTED MARRYING HIM!!!!!

I invited this woman to read my blog as I have been openly honest about my feelings and what goes on in the life of a wife of a RSO.

Sex Offender's last session with therapist he is suing

Last night was my husband's last session with the therapist he is suing. What will happen now? We do not know. The parole commission never made long term sex offender therapy (he's been in it for 9 years!) a requirement of his parole but left it up to his P.O. (I'm sure if you've been following my blogs you definitely know how I feel about him. I swear, I don't know how he does his job since he's so obsessed with my husband! Did I tell you that his obsession began when my husband questioned his order to register as a sex offender? ((My husband was convicted in 1979 and Maryland law does not have the ability to register him)) When my husband had his first P.O.((and she was no pushover, she told him one false move and his ass would be back in jail)) he never had to file one legal paper but ever since this one has taken over.....well, let's just say, a lot of trees are being used to fight for his civil rights!) When his P.O. and his supervisor came to visit in what we'd like to call the "retaliation visit", there was a lengthy discussion of his requirement to be in long term therapy. His P.O. is trying to say that the parole commission ordered it. His therapy is being suspended for a little while until an alternative can be found. Then there is the "maintenance polygraph" that seems to be a monster that no one has heard of! During his last session, his therapist wanted to know why he's suing her. Ha! Like she doesn't have a clue! She told my husband that she's worried about his stress level. I bet! My husband said he handled stress just fine during his 20 years in Fed. Prison.....everything since then has been a piece of cake.

I'm curious: Is there any sex offenders out there who have been ordered to have long term therapy? If so...please contact me. Also...if you have been ordered for long term therapy, have you asked for copies of your medical records?

As for me, I'm hanging in there! Started on a new medication that has several side effects that are extremely unpleasant but I've been told the side effects only last about 10 days. So far, the new medicine seems to be helping with my pain. My pain is still there but now it's about a 5 on a scale of 0-10 when before it was an 8.( 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt and requires going to the ER)

I'm very supportive of my husband. Helping him with anything I can. He's been through so much. Spending 20 years in prison for a crime he did not commit ( Don't bother sending a negative comment on this, I've heard it all before. Those of you who write those negative comments should hold them if you don't know the facts! I've read the court transcripts, the FBI reports and have seen every one of the crime scene photos. He was a scape goat in a political war between California and Mexico), then he has to be stuck with an A** hole of a parole officer who is trying to put him back in prison and even has gone so far as to get some of his friends in law enforcement to lie and make false claims( Such as the one police officer who had his wife say that she was being stalked by my husband. Come to find out, my husband was working as a cashier on one of the days she claimed he was stalking her in the store and the other day he was supposed to be stalking her in the store, he was off and no where near the store.) We also found out that his PO and this police officer knew each other. IMAGINE THAT! How much more must my husband endure before he gets even a wee bit of justice? The only ray of light on the horizon is that his PO retires in less than 5 years but how much more BS do we have to put up with until he does? Do Parole officers have a code of conduct that they have to adhere to when it comes to their parolees and their families?

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Let me know if anyone has any info on anything I have written! Thanks!