Another Lonely Night On Delmarva

Here I am again, alone with only my "son" to keep me company. My husband has just gone out on the road. Will be back some time tomorrow night..late. I hate these times but love them too. I hate them because I hate to be away from my husband, my best friend. And I hate them because I have too much time to think. What do I think about? All the injustice that has happened and continues to happen to my husband. No one cares that a innocent man's life has been ruined and is continuing to be ruined by a conviction of a crime he did not commit. I get so angry knowing that the people (the 3 FBI agents, the prosecutor and a couple of judges) are still walking around in positions of power with no guilty conscience of ruining a man's life. And then I wonder...How many other innocent people did they "fix" the evidence just to get a conviction? No one is interested in a 28 year old story. No one cares that it may happen to someone they love since these same people are still in their positions or have even received promotions. We are still waiting for a decision on his judicial complaint. That could take another year or two. More of his appeals have been brushed off. I feel like taking out a full page ad and advertising his story...my husband laughed..."Do you realize how much that would cost?" Course providing that they would print it after I paid for the advertisement. They haven't printed anything to date. Even Oprah and Dr. Phil have been a big disappointment. Nothing, nada. Not even a "Sorry" can't use it. 48 hours and 60 minutes, the same...nothing. (Can't you tell I'm rolling in self pity tonight...no not self pity but frustration that no one wants to help this wonderful man, my husband. No one cares) These are the times that I wonder...why does celebrities get front page head lines because they are loosing too much weight and no one wants to read about a true story of cover up, federal mis-conduct, judicial mis-conduct? What are Americans becoming? Where are those investigative reporters who would have sold their soul for an exclusive?

Then let's go to the sex offender injustice? Did you hear about the GPS implants? Or about the one company who is selling their service that before you buy a house...let them investigate the neighbor hood to see if there are any sex offenders..or bring them (this company) in as a community watch security service and anyone that tries to buy a house in your community they will do a back ground check on them to see if they are a sex offender. And I bet people are buying into this company. I mean, with all these scare tactics running wild....Americans have forgotten to use their common sense.

Every now and then, my husband will reminiscence about his time in prison. I listen and cry silently inside. Can you believe that an official had actually ordered for him to be physically castrated? Thank GOD he won the emergency appeal on that one. He tells tales of all those head-liner famous criminals that he has rubbed elbows with. Actually, one made the headlines again a while back. (Sorry...no I won't name any names)And you know what this sweet wonderful man said to me: "If he had to go through it all over again just to meet me, he would because I was the best thing that has ever happened to him". Oh...man I'm crying. Oh well...good for the soul I guess. I'll sign off now. Work day tomorrow.

Sorry, Haven't written for a while

My life has been kind of hectic. Hurt my back at work, had an x-ray, found out I have a T12 fracture of the vertebrae. Had bone density scan..no osteoporosis. So how did I get this fracture? My doc doesn't seem to think I got it when I hurt my back at work. But that's the only time I've ever had any trauma to my back. So between, light duty work (you know they don't let you have any missed days when its worker's comp), going to physical therapy and surfing the web for any new ridiculous laws they are trying to pass concerning sex offenders...I've been rather busy.

Any way, my husband is up to his eyeballs with legal stuff...he loves to sock it to them. And its coming along. No further visits from our favorite (LOL) a#* hole PO. No further incidents with the Sheriff's Deputy...so things are going well.

My husband and I were talking the other night about this fantasy town. One that is owned and governed by sex offenders. No visitors allowed unless you register..including parole officers, state officials, etc. We'd have our own businesses, own government, make our own laws. Could walk the streets without fear of retaliation. How cool does that sound? He said we'd probably be such a rich town that so many non sex offenders would want to come live there. And he's probably right. We'd be working for something that is ours...and will have to prove to the outside community that we are not the slime balls that they think we are. Course...it would have to be a town somewhere where it is warm. I hate snow and cold. Have any of you ever dreamed of such a place? Where our kids could go to school without being judged or made to feel ashamed? Where you could work where you want without fear of a criminal background check or the topic of sex offender registration? I have and I love the idea...Our own special town with its own very special townspeople. People like you who want to make a difference in their lives. Oh well...its nice to dream? And how have you been? Any dreams or fantasies that you can share? Keep it clean please!!!!

When I got home from work yesterday...

I just had to write about this. When I got home from work yesterday, the sheriff's car was at my neighbor's house picking up some teenage boy for something. He stared at me(the deputy in sheriff's car) as I was pulling into our drive way. He pulled out of my neighbor's drive way but then stopped and watched me as I got out of the car and headed into the house. (Yes, my husband had gotten home before me. ) Then he went on his way. Several thoughts were running through my head: Was he checking to see who was going into the house of a sex offender? Or was this some kind of scare tactic to let us know that we are being watched? The more I think about it, the more I'm leaning toward the scare tactic scenario. But, it doesn't scare me...it infuriates me!!! We have nothing to hide! My husband has a clean record and has always walked on the right side of the law. To me, this is harassment. During all these stupid laws and continued witch hunts...my husband keeps saying how glad he is that his DNA is in the national data bank. For this I am thankful too. They can't come pick him up for just "questioning" whenever there is a rape. So while many of you or your husbands, boyfriends, etc., may balk at giving a DNA sample...IT IS FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION!! In this day and time, you can not afford not to have your DNA in the national data bank.

One more thing: Did any of you get the notice that Congress is trying to join up with Oprah with a nation wide task force to keep sexual predators(who prey on children via Internet) to be monitored? They are planning to spend billions of dollars to do so. Since I've written so many letters to congress, I signed up for their newsletters via e-mail. I received this one with an offer to reply on whether or not I support their efforts. I'm sure you know how I responded. I told them that they need to get a handle on these other stupid bills that violates sex offenders rights and to get better educated before they step into anything else. I also suggested that they stop the witch hunt on sex offenders and turn their attention on other issues such as the drug dealers who prey on our children: get them hooked by giving it to them free, have them give it to their friends, and then turn them all in to dealers who also use any means to get more of the stuff...such as steal...

Just thought I'd keep everyone up-dated on my week. How was your week???

Astounded and Speechless

First of all, if you haven't read any of the comments attached to my blogs, you are missing some really great stories, that are at the same time heart breaking. Thank you everyone for sharing your own life stories. In one of my replies, I stated that America is not the Land of the free nor the Land of Freedom of speech. Its sad to think that our ancestors fought so many years ago to give us the right to freedom of speech for nothing. They died for nothing! Just like our young men and women today, who are fighting so hard in the Armed Forces, many losing their lives, all having their lives changed forever......FOR NOTHING!!! As long as we have people in power who prey on the public with scare tactics...America and for the Freedom that was so diligently fought for, is lost. And, those same people know that they are safe. Why? Because the group of people they have targeted, no longer have the right to vote. And the people who do have a right to vote, such as the families, friends of sex offenders, are not taken seriously and are so out numbered by those who believe such scare tactics. Thus, the people who believe in such scare tactics, continue to keep these people in the position of power because they think they are being protected. Since the majority of you who are reading my blog, know the facts. Sex offenders are the least likely to re-offend than any other criminal. So, while they are targeting the sex offenders, they are blinding the public from the real threat: The high rate re-offenders. Even though sex offenders do not have the right to vote, they and their families, friends should start bombarding elected officials, newspapers, news stations with letters expressing their views. We, as a sex offender community (yes, I can say I'm part of the community as being the wife((or girlfriend, or mother, or daughter or friend))of a sex offender affects my rights as much as a sex offender)should band together, establish groups/organizations. While individual letters are great, just think how one letter with hundreds of signatures will get noticed. We can never give up. We must continue to fight. Oh, and a thought to those in the public who believe in the scare tactics...When will it stop? Suppose the next targeted group is someone close to you. Below, I've added my letter to the editor of the Salisbury Daily Times in Salisbury MD....one of the ones that was never published. (Of Course!!)


Well, Ocean City has gone an done it again. A law was passed that states only MD sex offenders can not go into OC without first checking in at the police station. So, any sex offender from the rest of the 49 states can go in and have a great time. While, some one who lives in MD, pays MD taxes, must first check in before they can have a lousy, over-priced dinner in OC? How fair is that, and who will be next? Guess money talks, so when a large money contributor to OC decides that Homosexuals aren't allowed in the "family" atmosphere of OC, that will become a new law. Pretty soon, you'll have to stop and show your w2's and if you don't make $100 k a year, you aren't allowed in. I am ashamed of what the Eastern Shore of MD has become. Infringing on people's rights, deciding that people don't deserve 2nd chances: doesn't matter if they paid their debt to society in prison time, and if they've kept clean and no re-offense, NO SECOND CHANCES..PERIOD! So what's next? They have become so narrow minded and back ward in their thinking: could it be slavery? banish the homosexuals? get rid of the home-less or welfare recipients? What about the elders and the dis-abled? Are they also not up to your standards? Why just sex offenders?? Why not include anyone and everyone who has a record and a past they would like to forget?? Who cares if they've become out-standing citizens! And you call your self Christians. The word "FORGIVE" is not in your vocabulary. This is a sad world we live in. I for one...am not going to miss Ocean City. that's right, I will never step in Ocean City again because I protest their narrow mindness. I mean, those who committed a crime, any crime, is gonna do it again. Right? WRONG!!! And lets repeat: Its only MD's own offenders that must leave 2 hours earlier for a 6 p.m. dinner date so they can sign in with the police. Not the multi-offender from New Jersey, or the convicted mobster from New York, the just released armed robber from Virginia, or the convicted killer from New Orleans. I guess the color of their money is better. I know...no one under the age of 21 can enter without a parent! That will cut down on a lot of Ocean City's real crime. Good job OC...you just took us 50 years back in time...discrimination.....!! All narrow minded people..hold your hands up!!! I bet you all voted for that one president who couldn't keep his pants up didn't you? Oh that's right, he doesn't live in MD, so he can enter anytime...doesn't matter that there may more people like him, in high places, and with power, will over step the law and family values, yet, its OK to go to OC...if you don't live in MD. Ocean City gets a big thumb down for their newest law!!!


OK, I did get a little carried away. But can you believe this? When is it going to stop? And how much further will it be allowed to go before it does stop?

Maryland Citizens For Sex Offender Justice

I did it. Completed the mission statement and created the web site dedicated to Maryland's newest organization.

http://mdcitizensforsexoffenderjustice.tripod.com

Don't worry, I'm not going to stop blogging. This is my outlet, like my diary, only I'm sharing with all of you. I was glad to see a lot of you were reading my blog even though you haven't shared any comments(just got a nice comment on my latest blog "Why I'm doing what I do").
Anyway, I'll keep on writing my thoughts and keep you updated on what's going on in my life.

Remember, I wrote about my daughter starting a new job? Well today was her first day. She has had an exciting first day: She learned how to clean out kennels and dog runs, drew blood from a dog, assisted the vet in caring for a dog with a bad tooth and maybe the worst part of the day, was assisting the vet to put down a cocker spaniel. (This dog was up in years and was suffering from cancer)But she was ecstatic about her new job and can't wait to start another day.

So have a good night. Time to go start dinner.

Fighting Fear

I know some of you are wondering: Why is she putting herself out there in the public eye when a couple blogs ago she stated how afraid she was when her husband had to register? You see, I'm the type of person, when I am afraid, I fight that fear instead of letting it control me. By doing something about these scare tactics, by becoming chairperson for the Maryland Citizens for Sex Offender Justice, I'm fighting that fear. In the process, I hope to help everyone fight their fears. I think education is the key to eliminate the scare tactics used by state officials. Separate fact from fiction. So I encourage everyone to FIGHT THE FEAR!

Why I'm Doing what I do

It's late at night and I can't sleep. My husband, who is a CDL driver has just left on a run. So, I decided to go into why I took the position of Chairperson for Maryland Citizens For Sex Offender Justice.

Did you know that earlier this summer, Ocean City, MD passed a law stating that any Maryland Sex Offender that comes into their town must register with the police department first? That's right. Suppose your husband and you decided you wanted to dine at one of Ocean City's Seafood restaurants and your reservations were at 6 p.m. You would have to go to Ocean City 2 hours early just so your husband could check into the police station, tell them who he is (and depending on his risk level would have to get finger printed), where he is going and for how long. (Of course, the cops could play dirty and keep him longer for some asinine reason just so you miss your reservation).Talk about the most idiotic law I have ever heard of. Just shows you how far this witch hunt is going. But get this...its only for Maryland Registered Sex Offenders. One from New Jersey could waltz right in and spend a whole week if he/she wanted to.

Other states are trying to pass laws where a sex offender must register his computer and give them his password and list of sites he goes to.

Maryland, earlier, had tried to pass the residency law. This would restrict any Maryland Sex offender from living within one mile of any school, daycare, sports/recreation places. Do you know how many schools, daycares, sport arenas are in Salisbury alone?

One state, sorry, this late at night I can't remember names, won't allow sex offenders to go to church unless he receives permission from the pastor and congregation. (No, I'm not making these up!)

And you know the Equal Housing and Fairness Act? In several states it doesn't apply to sex offenders.

As far as the current Maryland Sex Offender restrictions, my husband is not restricted on where he lives, just where he goes. He can't go onto school property(not even for work), he can't go to a college(without first going through a lot of BS and then he still could be denied), he can't go to any sport/recreation area, he can't go to a daycare...you get the idea.

If you've looked on the Maryland Sex Offender Registry, it has only one category "Child Sex Offenders". Everyone is placed there(doesn't matter if the offense was with a child or not). If you look closer, and pay attention to the conviction dates...you would see several who were convicted 20-30 years ago, with no record of re-offense.

So tell me, when are we going to say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"? Not only do these idiotic laws restrict the sex offender, they restrict his/her family. A father can not go see his child play sports nor pick his child up from school or daycare. He/she probably won't be able to further their education or train for a new career.

It is time for the public and those un-educated people in state/government legislature to become more educated on the facts pertaining to sex offenders. All this fiction that you see on the news is just a scare tactic to keep the public in a panic.

So, are you ready to say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"? I know I am. That is why I'm doing what I do.

Finally...Something I can be useful for

I am so excited!! I just accepted the position of Chairperson for Maryland Citizens for Sex Offender Justice and Maryland State Organizer for ReformSexOffenderLaws.org. While I really should be working on a mission statement, principals, etc. I had to share my thoughts and excitement first.

Yes, I did discuss this with my husband, and although he didn't want to sway my decision, he said he was very supportive of me doing this. Once I explained to him that I had already made up my mind to do this, he said"I'm so proud of you!" and touched that you would want to do this for me and for others like me. As far as I am concerned, it is a cause worth fighting. So, if you want to contribute, visit my web site and send me an email...I can put you to work as soon as its decided what we will tackle first.

http://supportforwivesofsexoffenders.webs.com


And of course, I am getting some advice from someone who is an expert on SORNA laws (and its not my husband).

Just had to share my news..but I'm going to make this short so I can work on my other duties. Wish me luck!! Wish us all luck in being successful in changing these stupid laws and making the United States of America truthfully the place everyone can live in peace.

Our Voices Need to Be Heard

I want you to take a look at my new web site. http://supportforwivesofsexoffenders.webs.com
It's not taking the place of my blog site...this is more for advocates for reforming sex offender laws. It's in the beginning stages but I'll keep you updated on the news. Thanks.....Have a great night.

Daily Chores

I'm in the process of doing my daily/weekly chores. I know, everyone has chores but mine may be a little different than yours. I began my day by copying 7 sets of a legal brief that included 6 exhibits. Not only did I copy but I collated them, placing the "exhibit" divider between the correct exhibits. Then I started my e-mail reviews, checking all my sites for new information. I have also contacted "Dr. Phil" again and will eventually get to elected officials, newspapers, news stations and TV stations. My husband and I talked the other day and decided to see if his lawyer from years ago would be interested in one of his legal issues for a percentage of the settlement. My husband doesn't have the time needed to get it done in a timely fashion while working as a CDL driver, away from home for hours. We were afraid, once submitted, that we would miss deadlines, etc. You see, many of his legal issues, my husband handles himself. Like most men who spent time in prison, he used their education benefits. He took a lot of courses related to law and criminal justice.

Of course, later today, it will be time to take our son to the vet. Because he is a Belgium shepherd, he is classified as belonging to the shepherd family. I did not know that shepherds were prone to anal fissures. I knew about hip problems, so he gets a daily dose of glucosamine. Well, anyway, our son was extremely sick a while back. He had an anal fissure that became infected. So after $700 , he was on a treatment of 4 doses of different medications (some twice a day), a twice daily butt wash and ointment, and twice daily ear drops. The cause? Allergies. So now he is on allergen free food, treats and a daily medication that costs $135 a week. We are hoping his medicine will be decreased or stopped because he is so much better. And his energy level is high, acting like a pup. Ever had a 110 pound pup? I am so glad we both work full time with good paying jobs...but he is part of the family and it is our responsibility to not only love him, feed him, care for him but to ascertain he is in good health.

So, how is your day? I hope you are staying dry. Its raining hard here and very windy due to the effects of a hurricane hitting the coast.

Just a thought worth mentioning

I hope I don't alienate a lot of church goers out there, if you go every Sunday or 2-3 times a week, that's you're right. I believe in God and yes, my husband and I attend church (every now and then) but I also believe that you can have faith and not go to church. I also believe that God gave us a brain and a tongue to use for whatever cause we feel is worth contributing to. My cause? To get my husband justice and to get justice for every sex offender out there who is trying to start a new life for themselves.

I will tell you a story that proves there is no second chance act: My husband has faithfully sent his resume out to several different state openings. He took the required exams and scored in the highest percentile. He's been getting multiple letters to schedule interviews, which he has gone to. These interviews are for departments all over Maryland, many are 2-3 hours away. Each and every time he has been honest with his conviction, has pointed out that since he has gotten out he has had no infractions with the law, obeys it to the letter, that he recently got married and is just trying to get on with his life. Not one word was said negatively at the interviews. Lo and behold....4-6 weeks later he gets letters stating "I'm sorry but another candidate was chosen." Second chance my foot. Even though he served in the army, the VA won't help him because he's a felon.

One day at work, a couple colleagues and I were having a discussion about the new bill that was passed regarding hiring ex-convicts and giving a big tax breaks to the companies that do so. He asked me if I would hire an ex-con. I told him I would. When asked why, I told him: Ex-cons have something to prove. They will work harder, will be more dependable than some Joe Smoe off the street. He asked me if I could trust them. I said that everyone deserves a second chance and deserve the right to be trusted. I said that you can't judge all by one or two bad apples. My husband is like that. Every job he has ever had, he has always felt he had to prove himself. He works harder, does the jobs no one else wants to do without complaint, works long hours, has never missed a day at work and pulls his load and others too.

Its all so unfair. There are no civil rights or rights at all for ex cons and even less for sex offenders. Families, friends, wives, significant others need to stop feeling ashamed and start voicing their concerns to elected officials or to anyone who will listen.

I love my husband and if his past has made him the man he is today, well so be it. He is a wonderful man, involved totally in our marriage and in me. He helps around the house without asking. Does wonderful little surprises when I least expect it.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I normally speak my mind whether its going to offend someone or not. Its what I believe. And I never give up. Guess that's the Taurus in me. I've sent numerous letters to elected officials, newspapers, news stations, TV shows such as "48 Hours", "Sixty Minutes" and to numerous talk shows. Every week or two, I do it all over again. If I could write a book, I would. I do not give up just because news papers, so called investigative reporters, TV shows tell me that no one is interested. Just makes me more determined and creative in finding ways to get what I have to say out there for others to read or hear.

Visit some of my sites that I have posted on my blog page. They have links to all kinds of resources. Get pro-active!!!

Counting your Blessings

I have just received a post from a woman who made me realize that we are not alone, as long as we have faith in God. (I posted her blog so that you, too, may read) It reminded me of all the things I should be thankful for. My husband brought me back to the Home of the Lord. Before I met him, I'm ashamed to say, it had been many years ago that I had attended church. My husband's church is a little country church on the right side of a crossroad in Delmarva. I must say, it may be little in size but has a huge heart and faith. Our church family has always been very supportive of my husband. during the time of his incarceration, and were there for him when he got out. They opened their arms to him and continue to support him. If there's a letter to be written, they write them. (Such as to the governor, parole commission). Our church family "walk the walk and talk the talk". They are not the one's who are Christians in church then gossip and condemn once Sunday Service is over. It really is a unique church....that's why I stopped going to many years ago. But I thank God every day for my church family.

Any way, I realized that despite all the frustrations, hassles of our lives, we have a lot to be thankful for. I thank God every day for bringing me this wonderful man who is my husband. I have never met anyone who has made me feel so loved and so special. And believe me, since my husband has met me, he has done a 360 degree turn around. There's a twinkle in his eyes, a smile on his face and just a brightness about him. His brothers, sister and mother all say the same thing. He's so much more at peace and happier than he has ever been. He's my soul mate...you know, the one person you always hope that you would meet. I thank God every day for my beautiful, wonderful daughter. Don't get me wrong...she is not an angel. We've had our ups and downs but she has grown into a beautiful young lady of 24. She just got a new job and is on her way to a great new career. She has always loved animals. When she was younger, she had such pets as a goat, a duck, a goose, a rooster, several gerbils, a couple of horses, not to mention multiple dogs and cats. Her new job? A surgical tech in an animal hospital. God does work in many ways.

While I may have many blessings, there are dark spots in my life, besides working to being an advocate for justice for my husband and dealing with all the issues that come with him being a federal parolee and registered sex offender.....there's the fact of being dis-owned by my own mother and sister. They can not understand why I love this man. But it is their loss.....I still have my good memories and am thankful every day for those.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't give up. Count your blessings. They will give you the strength to go on another day.

Thanks to those who share their stories

At this time, since I shared some of my story, I would like to share some of my fears and frustrations. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one afraid of the vigilantes out there. When my husband's picture first appeared on the registration list on the Internet, I couldn't sleep at night. every sound I had to investigate...it was hard for me to be alone at night. Just as it was getting better, our hick town's little newspaper, decided to use a full page to report every sex offenders name and address. I've read about the vigilantes who prey on sex offenders. We are small town Delmarva and I could just see some red neck get his buddies loading up in his pick up and start working on the list. Like I said...the witch hunt continues. People do not realize that those names on that list contain names of men (and women) who may be innocent, who may have made one mistake in life and have been paying every since, have families who love them. My husband was innocent and through federal officials cover ups, he paid for it with 20 years of his life behind bars. He continues to pay every single day since he was released. It does not matter that he has had not one infraction of any kind. He has been a model parolee. But he has an A..hole for a probation officer who continues to try to find ways to get him back in prison. He has made my husband go to a sexual offenders counseling program for the last 7 years. (It was a 2 year program) And my husband must continue to go 2 times a month. He was out of work for 11 months because his parole officer has put so many restraints on him that as a CDL driver, it was hard to find work. Every time he goes to a parole termination hearing, they continue him on supervised parole...their reasoning...He does not feel any remorse for what he did. Remorse? they want him to say he was guilty of a crime he did not commit. They consider him still a threat to society because of that. Our night mare continues...but that will be another day.

Thank you everyone who visited and left their stories. I was sooooooo excited to get comments.

What are your fears and frustrations? Please share.